A friend, who I grew up with back in Idaho, recently asked me, "why are so many Californians moving to Idaho?" You must understand that, where I grew up, the word 'Californian' is used as an adjective instead of a noun. (A noun is a person, place or thing while an adjective describes a noun. Just a quick refresher on parts of speech, for those of you who haven't pulled out the Mad Libs in a while. No charge.) Back home the word 'Californian' is somewhat synonymous with the words "intolerable" or "meddlesome". Naturally this is the reason, as explained to me by my government teacher, that there are so many so called "Californian" legislators in the US Congress. There is even some disagreement as to whether California is actually a state in the sense of a geographic area or if it is more like a state of denial or a state of confusion. We still capitalize the word for the same reason we still put a 'k' in front of the word 'know'. It doesn't really have a purpose we are just too lazy to change it.
It may be obvious at this point that I have no idea how to properly use the ' and the " symbols. I know that you are supposed to use the " symbol when you are directly quoting someone or when you are referencing a title or when you need Bozo the Clown hair for your new emoticon.
""(°0°)""
Beyond that I'm pretty much clueless. I just throw one in now and then for dramatic affect. Besides, where I grew up, Grammar was just the old gal that married Grampa all those years ago.
Please don't get me wrong, I mean, there could never be a better place to grow up than where I did. I loved it and I often wish I could go back so that my kids could grow up there too. But you see, I live in California now. So, although I may deny it, I'm somewhat confused. Should I stick to my roots and hold on to the dream that, someday, California will fall into the ocean? Or should I embrace my new home and try to set aside old prejudices? I have found, after all, that there are many Californians who just don't fit the Californian description that I once thought to be universal.
I guess that brings us back the the original question; why are so many Californians moving to Idaho? Is there something terribly wrong with California that makes them want to leave? Is it because Idaho offers the next untamed wilderness to be exploited by over regulation, misplaced values and underproduction? No, it doesn't have anything to do with California, or Idaho. The reason they are leaving is very simple, it's because it gets them one step closer to their ultimate destination... North Dakota! Clean air, no people and close enough to Canada that you can hear the Caribou stampeding, eh! Since moving down here I've learned that countless Californians secretly dream of living in North Dakota. They're just too ashamed to admit it. Why would they be ashamed? Well... wouldn't you be?
It just so happens that North Dakota is leading the way towards legalizing the growing of Hemp as an agricultural product. Hemp has an amazingly broad range of uses. Hemp ropes, for example, have been used for centuries. They don't seem to last long though, perhaps due to the traditional burning of the rope after each use. It's an odd tradition and nobody knows where it came from, but everybody loves it! Growing Hemp has of course been discouraged because of its party prone cannabis cousin. However, there are many who still promote its merits as a food and fiber crop with diverse, shall we say, benefits. Canada has been growing it for years and see the wondrous results from that country, eh. Californians from all walks of life are drawn to such free thinking.
So don't worry Idaho, the Californians won't stay long. North Dakota is calling to them and literally roping them in. You can't stop the migration so just try to enjoy it. If you watch carefully you might even catch a glimpse of a real life Idacalifornigonian like myself. Be kind to them while they are there, but remember to keep your distance and whatever you do don't feed them! They tend to have ravenous appetites, so you don't want one to cozy up and hang around your place too long.
8 comments:
North Dakota... well, now that just makes sense!
Idacaliforniognian?? How long did it take you to arrange everything in there so it sounded good to you? :)
I would be ashamed to admit that I wanted to live in North Dakota. No, really... I would! Don't look at me like that...
Oh, and I like the emoticon. Very clever!
That really wasn't really what I was thinking when I brought up the subject, but I like what you did. I was just kidding when I brought the subject up. I really didn't think you would do it.
I did like the post though, it was very entertaining.
All this time! You bugger. I had no idea that anybody 'knew' my secret. I thought my secret dream was mine alone. You are right. You're always right. I have been ashamed of it. Oh well. I'm going to bed, where I'll fall asleep listening to the sound of stampeding Caribou. Did you know that in Mud Lake if you listen close enough you can hear the Caribou?
Caribou in Mud Lake huh? They must have followed the wolves. It's a little known fact that prey always follow their natural predators. Most people think it's the other way around. Not true. Those animals are simply begging to be eaten. If it weren't for the well known environmentally conscious eating habits of the wolves then the Caribou would all be gone by now.
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